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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the erectile dysfunction support group meeting? It was a total flop, nobody came."

"[wife gets home] did you feed the baby his spinach today? [me doing push ups] hell no I'm not letting that baby get stronger than me"

"Error 609: When your kid sleeps in between."

"How can you tell an engineer is an extrovert? He looks at your shoes when he talks to you."

"Did you hear about the African man who refused to accept the fact that he couldn't swim? They say he died in denial."

"PERSON: Want a slice? ME: No thanks, trying to eliminate bread P: From your diet? M [having sworn to destroy all bread]: Sure...from my diet"

"Why was the actor detained by airport security? He said he was in town to shoot a pilot."

"Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx."

"How does a feminist know she's overweight? She doesn't"

"Whats the difference between two dicks and a joke? Your Mom can't take a joke."