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Joke of the Day
"What's as big as a horse but weighs nothing? A horses shadow!"
Next Joke
"Wife: ""Do you think of me when you're away darling?"" Husband: ""Yes honey I always bare you in mind."""
"If Trump wins the presidency, you know who's gonna be the most excited about buildin' a Southern border fence? Canada."
"Why did a scientist disconnect his doorbell? because he wanted to win the No-bell prize!! Sorry, I ll walk out"
"What is the difference between a dollar and Lebron James? Lebron James doesnt give you 4 quarters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34"
"What does Miley Cyrus eat on Thanksgiving? Twerkey!"
"Heard a Beethoven piece & a Ke$ha song yesterday. Which one is deaf again?"
"I don't understand the purpose of smooth objects. I mean, there's no point."
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer, I don't know what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day. --My amazing girlfriend told me this one"
"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."