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Joke of the Day

"I had to turn off my carbon monoxide detector... ...The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick."

"Why does ISIS only drink drip coffee? Because they hate French Press!"

"Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card? Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now? Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!"

"Did you hear about the new ""morning after"" pill for men? It changes your blood type."

"The shortest route between point A and point B is under construction."

"Whats the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth!"

"What do you call a smart ant ? Elegant !"

"Mad props to New York for dressing up as New Orleans for Halloween."

"Why is Jesus Christ gay? Because he was nailed by guys."

"If you aren't happy being single, you'll never be happy in a relationship. Get your own life first, then share it."