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Joke of the Day

"My co-worker said he's bleeding out of his ear. ""That time of the month?"" I replied. He's not amused."

"My job is secure. No one else wants it."

"What do you call a psychic on /b/? A 4Chan-Teller"

"What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)"

"BAGPIPE VS. ONION Q: What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? A: No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe."

"How do you organize a space party? You planet ;)"

"What does a Stripper do with her asshole before she goes to work? She drops him off at band practice."

"What did the racist ghost say? Wight Power!"

"Really the only way to look cool eating a salad is to shoot it into your mouth with a crossbow."

"What's the difference between people on Reddit and dead people? Dead people had lives."