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Joke of the Day

"Where do otters come from? Otter Space!"

"Cephalopod humour How much does it cost to treat an ill octopus? Six Quid...."

"Why hasn't there been a coup in the United States? Because they don't have a US Embassy."

"I only watch ""Game of Thrones"" because I'm trying catch a background extra wearing a wristwatch."

"Working on a screen play that involves zombies invading a prom. I'm calling it ""Prom Nom Nom"""

"Bitch, shut up and look riveted as shit while I get stoned and talk about crossbows for like three hours."

"So I harvested my tomato today, it's bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it."

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I've won & the number of ipads I own."

"love how during intense moments in space-themed movies they'll show the dashboard panels, as though you'll be like ah. ah i see the issue"

"What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They're both fun to ride, until your friends find out."