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Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying don't trust the internet but there's an alarming discrepancy between the number of ipads I've won & the number of ipads I own."

"Never date a tennis player. Love means nothing to them."

"A Roman walks into a bar and says ""Hey Niko! It's your cousin Roman, let's go bowling."""

"Have you heard about the movie called 'Constipation'...? No? That's because it hasn't come out yet."

"In New York, people are paying up to $100 for a ""cronut,"" which is croissant/donut. We call these people ""midiots,"" which is a moron/idiot."

"I always say the same thing when I find out I got a new employee Works for me!"

"Apparently organ donation has to be *your own* organ and this police officer has a lot of questions."

"The guy behind the counter asked me what I wanted on my sub and I said a collar and restraints and now I'm not allowed in Subway."

"How do you know when a vampire is sick? He starts coffin..."

"I am aging as gracefully as a banana"