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Joke of the Day

"What do fat girls and mopeds have in common? They're both fun to ride, until your friends find out."

"Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all."

"My mom: The liberals in California are rubbing off on you. Me: I know, it keeps getting in my hair. (silence)"

"Apparently saying, ""You mad, bro?"" is frowned upon if you work in customer service."

"Why did the woman miss the spaghetti train? Because it went straight pasta."

"Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous movie scenes? A stunt ham."

"Heading to Chinatown tomorrow just to hear the people there say the word ""election"" all day."

"The itch from poison ivy is so bad that I just spent hundreds of dollars buying every possible cream and ointment at the pharmacy. I need to quit making rash decisions."

"If I had a buck for every time an elk was confused for a deer... I'd have a lot of doe"

"What do you call a cheese that isn't yours? NACHO CHEESE!"