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Joke of the Day

"I imagine it's pretty humbling for someone who's literally taking part in their first rodeo"

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. We're very efficient and not very humorous"

"I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but... I tried to read a book on Nordic countries, but I couldn't Finnish."

"Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free."

"Harry, it's your baby Said Professor Umbridge"

"dying to have A guy goes into bar and says to the bartender."" I'm dying to have sex in the worst way. The bartender says "" Well, the worst way I can think of is standing up in a hammock."""

"I asked my North Korean friend how it was there.. .. he said he couldn't complain."

"I'm sick of these people turning up at my door, telling me they're my saviours and if I don't listen I'll burn. Fucking firemen."

"I spent the whole of my day with my hand in my trouser pocket. Maybe that's why I kept feeling cocky."

"What do American beers and Sex in a Canoe have in common? They are both fucking close to water!"