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Joke of the Day

"I spent the whole of my day with my hand in my trouser pocket. Maybe that's why I kept feeling cocky."

"[Pun] There's something about the sky... There was a man in an airplane and he had just over dosed on alcohol, one could say he really was HIGH -<>~<>- ^those are what I call 'pun glasses'"

"Ice cubes are very badass I mean they float around their own blood"

"A man with Alzheimer's starts telling a joke. where am I?"

"Anal sex... ...it's fucking shit!"

"Garbage day. When you find out which neighbors are drunks by how many bottles they throw out holy shit this one still has something in it."

"What did one sperm say to the other? How are we gonna find an egg in all this shit?!"

"How do you keep an Idiot occupied? [Click here to find out]( http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1v1wqm/how_do_you_keep_an_idiot_occupied/)"

"Getting sick of seeing dogs that are not falling in love or at least sharing spaghetti."

"My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago. The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed."