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Joke of the Day

"What does Sonic say during Ramadan? Gotta go fast"

"Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night."

"Why is Jesus so rich? Because Jesus saves."

"I did some Star War's fantasy roll playing this weekend Me, Hand Solo and Princess Didn't-Get-Laid-a."

"In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters."

"Heads, you give me your phone number, tails you go on a date with me. *flips coin into ceiling fan, it's knocked out a window into the sea*"

"I'm not flirting, I'm being friendly. *gets on knees and undoes your belt*"

"What's the difference between your mom and a bowling ball? You can eat a bowling ball."

"Count Chocula cereal is the perfect combination of breakfast and fear."

"I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year. 30 pounds to go"