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Joke of the Day
"I'm not flirting, I'm being friendly. *gets on knees and undoes your belt*"
Next Joke
"So I had sex with a condom for the first time It was good. But I still prefer doing it with girls."
"[High Stakes Poker] Dealer: Are you in or are you out? Schrodinger's Cat: [For the 20th time] BOTH [Player flips table]"
"What's the difference between harry potter and jews? Harry escaped the chambers."
"On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a week."
"Wife:How'd you sleep? Me: Fine except I got in a gun fight and died and went to the store because I ran out of shampoo W: Ambien:*giggles"
"So I've been tossing up between becoming a meteorologist or a scout master. But I don't know weather or knot.."
"Get your employees to work harder by ""accidentally"" leaving articles on the printer about reducing staff."
"I've satisfied every waitress I've met... With just the tip"
"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2, But you'll have to find a really big lightbulb to fit them in there."