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Joke of the Day

"I am fluent in Italian and Spanish, but I'm much better at Italian I guess you could say that Italian is my forte"

"How does a penguin make a decision? Flipper coin. Again, I shall take my leave."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for ""dailysex""... But the wife had to break it to me that it was actually for ""dyslexia""."

"I take issue with people stealing magazines."

"What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in her wheelchair"

"2 snails There were 2 snails on the back of a turtle. One of the snails turned to the other and said ""hold on."""

"Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her."

"You know you screwed up with your blind girlfriend when she says ""We should see other people""."

"forget about gun laws, there needs to be more focus on who can own an acoustic guitar"

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between ""shit"" and ""syphilis"""