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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between ""shit"" and ""syphilis"""

"Zombies..stay away from junk people or you'll gain a shit-ton of weight."

"What did the bee say to the flower ? Hello honey !"

"Did you here about the French Alps pizza service? Apparently they deliver large plane's"

"What comes up but never comes down? Russian Cosmonauts"

"I hate thinking of new passwords. Last time I did I chose ""Penis."" But got the error: Your password is too short. I tried BBCPenis, that was too many characters. Guess that ones too long."

"I'm not saying... Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died."

"I had a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal for the first time in a long time last weekend. The roof of my mouth should be healed in a few days."

"Nursing Problems As a Nurse, its my job to have patients - Oh the irony in how the 'patients' have absolutely no patience for me. My job is to save your ass..(colonoscopy etc.) Not Kiss It. :D"

"What did the left nut say to the right nut? That guy above us is a real dick"