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Joke of the Day

"Jared Fogle ""the subway guy"" was upset to be sentenced to 15 and 1/2 years in Prison today... Funny because 15 1/2 years used to sound pretty good to him."

"a beer at yankee stadium is like a monthly mortgage payment in any other state"

"Why does a white guy go to a brothel? For pleasure. Why does a black guy go to a brothel? He's looking for his mother."

"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pump kin hope its not a repost - its one of my old favs"

"Love means never being able to like another girl's selfie on Instagram ever again."

"Accidentally called 911 Set my house on fire to not look stupid."

"How do elephants hide themselves in the jungle? They paint their testacles red and climb in a cherry tree. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday"

"I'm always there for my friends when I need them."

"My wife just said ""I'm pregnant!"" I said ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad!"""