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Joke of the Day

"What do rednecks do on Halloween? Pump kin hope its not a repost - its one of my old favs"

"What's the difference between a male and female table? A male table is made with hard wood."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ammon ! Ammon who ? Ammon old hand at picking locks !"

"For weeks I thought my neighbor was keeping his car under one of those car covers. As it turns out, it was just his old car's ghost."

"All of the UFO sightings were just people seeing chuck Norris fly to McDonald's."

"I like microwaves that spin the food around because I'm all, oh yeah, hot pocket, looking good, girl, from the front AND the back uh huh."

"If I ever go missing, put up fliers saying I left a dog in a hot car so people will actually look for me."

"I casually mentioned to my cat that I've petted many animals in my time, and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said ""How many?"""

"Waiter Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !"

"There are 10 types of people in the world Those who understand binary and those who don't"