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Joke of the Day
"I started to work at a seafood buffet... ...but then I pulled a mussel."
Next Joke
"""who else wakes up in the morning and checks their Facebook like its the morning newspaper??"""
"A human fart can be louder than a trombone I discovered that at my daughter's school concert."
"Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable."
"Sexxist much? Q: how do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? A: give her a shovel."
"I saw some porn with Charlie Brown music in it and it really didn't fit the mood."
"""Said no one ever."" -Said everyone on Twitter."
"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."
"What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls"
"What do you call a baby girl who died of alcohol poisoning? Give me a blender and we'll call her a bloody mary."