225818

Joke of the Day

"Don't model myself after Marilyn Monroe, but having imperfections & dying naked in bed clutching bottles of pills & champagne seems doable."

"I wish my lawn was emo Then it would cut itself."

"What do you call a really bad sausage? The Wurst."

"What's the most poular Christmas carol in the desert? Oh caaamel ye faithful."

"""The Bible"" running on the History Channel is like ""Dragons"" running on Animal Planet."

"I met this wonderful girl who thinks small penis isn't an obstacle for a good relationship. Now I just have to get used to that she has one."

"I have a girlfriend named Refrigerator She always opens up to me"

"A man goes to see his doctor... He says to the doctor ""Doc, I think I might be a pair of curtains."" The doctor yells ""Pull yourself together!"""

"Where do pregnant chickens keep their ultrascan images? In a photo albumen. \_()_/ "

"ESPIONAGE: teen dresses up as a dad for a PTA meeting ""i think drugs are cool and we should back off"" *snapback falls out of pocket* *gasps*"