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Joke of the Day

"Why did the shark cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!"

"75% of parenting is taking their keys to punish them And giving them back because they're driving you crazy"

"A man's got to know his limitations. Unless he's in a relationship, then he'll be constantly reminded."

"Why is DJ Khaled's favorite number 11? Cuz it has another 1"

"Billy's parents called the school on the afternoon he completed his make up test, they wanted to know why he was wearing lipstick and mascara."

"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long if you're fat."

"If you guys don't start appreciating my tweets, I will introduce my mom to Twitter. Don't make me ruin this for everyone."

"My friends pet mouse Elvis just died. He was caught in a trap."

"Rugby... if it was easy, it would be called your mom."

"boss: trouble at home? me: [jumps awake at my desk] yeah boss: wife giving you grief? me: there's a bee in my kitchen"