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Joke of the Day

"boss: trouble at home? me: [jumps awake at my desk] yeah boss: wife giving you grief? me: there's a bee in my kitchen"

"Accidentally poured myself a glass of vodka at 9am. Accidentally drank it too. I'm so fcuking clumsy."

"[Crime Scene] Detective: Looks like the killer used a wheelbarrow to dump the victim. [in the shed a wheelbarrow grins, his seventh kill]"

"The world would be a much better place if people like Adolf Hitler were still born. EDIT: typo, 'stillborn'"

"[OC] What do you call authentic Italian wine harvested in January? Genu[w]ine."

"What do you call it when a redhead goes nuts? A ginger snap."

"What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands."

"I was about to tell a hilarious joke about chemistry.. ..but last time I did, I couldn't handle the reactions."

"Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?"" ""Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."""

"Now picture me using proper grammar Wronger"