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Joke of the Day

"I just want to be important enough that someone unexpectedly puts a cup of coffee in my hand, which I gratefully accept with only a nod."

Next Joke
 
"What do my dad and God have in common? I've never seen or heard from either of them."
"(bad joke) What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower? A toe-mat-o."
"I'm giving up for Lent."
"If at first you don't succeed... skydiving isn't for you..."
"My neighbor said his dog was impregnated by my dog Django. I said ""No way, bro."" ""The 'D' is silent"""
"Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Every time she gets to 69, she has a frog in her throat."
"I've tried every drug but crack. Who you callin' buttcrack, asshole?!?!"
"I love you so much, I'll just sit at home and stare at my phone to make you notice."
"Why do Jewish men watch porno's backwards? That way they can see the hooker give the money back."