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Joke of the Day

"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""

"what do you call a cow that's recently given birth? Decaffinated"

"The way to treat women is always in your heart. Beat beat beat."

"I have a joke about fish and herbs. But I don't think now is the thyme or the plaice to tell it."

"Going on the Obama diet... Putin will eat my lunch everyday..."

"KFC is a shelter for battered chickens"

"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"

"What do runners eat before a race? Nothing. They fast"

"People think I have really bad road rage. In reality I'm just really horny."

"What do you do to dead chemists? You barium."