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Joke of the Day

"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"

Next Joke
 
"I went to the zoo but there was only one animal... it was a Shih Tzu."
"I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but fuck you."
"Feminism! Q: How many feminists does it take to change a baby's diaper? A: Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything. And besides, where would they find a baby!"
"My pot accidentally got mixed in with my pasta noodles. Ended up with baked ziti."
"What is a Coronal Mass Ejection? I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer."
"2016 has been pretty bad but at least girls stopped drawing mustaches on their index fingers and holding them under their noses."
"Don't date a soccer player... There's only a 1/11 chance they're a keeper."
"LOL there's like 20 guys w/ ""Female Body Inspector"" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO"
"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""