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Joke of the Day

"How To Tell A Girl Is Mad: 1. She tells you she's mad 2. She tells you she's not mad 3. She sets your stuff on fire 4. She sets you on fire"

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"Lou Gehrig is the most unlucky man to ever live.... I mean seriously, what are the odds of dying from a disease that has the same name as you?"
"What did the Pope say when he first saw the Shroud of Turin? Holy Sheet!"
"I just ate a frozen apple! Hardcore."
"Where is the lift? American: You mean the elevator? English: Yes, we call it a lift. American: It's called an elevator. We invented it. English: And we invented the language."
"A kiss makes my day. Anal makes my whole week."
"I don't remember When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a great memory. I don't remember, what I chose."
"What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? A cross."
"Hitler is judged very harshly by history, but... He did kill Hitler. Joke credit to Jimmy Carr on QI"
"The War on Terrorism.... ....God's way of teaching Geography to Americans."