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Joke of the Day
"People think I have really bad road rage. In reality I'm just really horny."
Next Joke
"You know what pisses me off? Amber Alerts It's like, life is depressing enough as it is so hearing about someone else getting laid just isn't helpful."
"Where was Jar Jar Binks in the new Star Wars movie? Answer: Who gives a fuck?"
"I'm tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment I did it once and killed a cyclist."
"Why did the comedian say he preferred his hamburger on a croissant roll? ""Because,"" he said, ""the bun is the lowest form of pastry."""
"[Bank Robbery] Put all the money in the bag and no one- *sees guy wearing a Maroon 5 shirt* MOST people won't get hurt!!"
"Facebook features three types of women: hot, Photoshopped hot, and a dog for a profile pic."
"Pauly D from Jersey Shore was at the Dance party where Chuck Norris invented the Electric Slide. His hair is now permanently stuck in a blowout position."
"What does an Ethiopian have in common with Yoko Ono? They both are living off of dead beatles."
"Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration? Because it's a cold day in hell...."