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Joke of the Day

"People think I have really bad road rage. In reality I'm just really horny."

"What do the Mafia and vaginas have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit"

"You can say that Hodor was Branwashed."

"I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life."

"What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito? Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector."

"A guy tried to fight me for $0.25 I gave him no quarter."

"It's impossible to describe why u are angry at a parent without sounding like a lunatic. ""They wanted me to eat salad! Can u believe that?"""

"Where do the good guys go? The friend zone..."

"What did Stephen Hawking name his new hair salon The Curl Up and Dye"

"The difference What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ? One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea."