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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me she accidentally swapped the KY Jelly and the window putty No wonder the windows kept falling out!"

"Bigger Breasts Wife: ""How can I make my breasts bigger?"" Husband: ""Just rub toilet paper between them"" Wife: ""Why would that work?"" Husband: ""It worked on your butt"""

"Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're dead."

"What has two legs and bleeds? Half a dog."

"I had a terrible cross-eyed teacher in primary schoool She could never keep her pupils under control."

"My neighbor and I accidentally made eye contact today when she caught me making a sandwich in her kitchen"

"Indians are better with computers because they are the 1's who invented 0's"

"I'm not on the Atkins Diet. I'm on the Rowan Atkinson Diet... It's all BEANS!!"

"Women are like Hurricanes They come into your life wild and free and then leave with the PATIO FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH YOU BITCH"

"Fish don't seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I'd prob eat it."