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Joke of the Day

"Women are like Hurricanes They come into your life wild and free and then leave with the PATIO FURNITURE WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH YOU BITCH"

"Does anyone know any good Groundhog Day jokes? Because I keep hearing the same ones over and over"

"Did you guys hear about Freddie Mercury's bedroom furniture store? Nothing Really Mattress. They only sell queen size."

"Why does Santa have such a beautiful garden? He is always Hoe-hoe-hoeing."

"Why are Atheists so resistant to video game cheats? They don't believe in godmode"

"hey girl, are you into adopting animals? Because I will probably pee in your bed and run away"

"It's my mom's personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind."

"My grandmother finds it important to stay in shape, so she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back."

"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any children? Because every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel."