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Joke of the Day

"I was discussing a trip to Chernobyl with my friend... He said not to go there or else Chernobyl fall off."

"Instead of recommending more people to follow, Twitter should recommend that I shut this computer off & get on with my life"

"If you say ""I knew you were going to say that"" enough. You can start billing people for psychic readings."

"If I put on a latex glove and snap it, that's just me flirting"

"Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter, and what do you get? Pumpkin pi."

"What's the difference between a happy programmer and a sad programmer? ""Hello, world"" and ""Goodbye, cruel world"""

"U ever squeeze out a turd so big that it feels like u traveled through time once it's out? anyway forgive me father for i have sinned"

"Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it and another one to change it back again."

"I'll tell you something about my wife She absolutely loves ~~cunilungas~~ ~~cunnilengus~~ ~~cunnelinges~~ cunnilingus Sorry, I always have trouble getting my tongue around it"

"Whats the difference between pizza and your opinion? I only asked for pizza."