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Joke of the Day

"Instead of recommending more people to follow, Twitter should recommend that I shut this computer off & get on with my life"

"Job interview tip: Bring a box to the interview, point at it and say ""I do all my thinking outside of that."" Then open some champagne."

"What's the Difference Between Being Hungry and Horny? Where you put the cucumber!"

"My sex life is like my personal record for the number of days I've been alive I beat it every day"

"Q: What did Snow White say when she dropped off her film? A: ""Some day my prints will come."""

"""What if I took the dumbest person I know, got them severely drunk, and challenged them to finish my sentences?"" -- inventor of Autocorrect"

"Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard."

"Today's joke from Russian-language Internet ""You know, they've built a George Orwell memorial in Russia!"" 'What? Where?"" ""Pretty much everywhere."""

"*Soccer Commentator* 'Adopted Children F.C. are having a great season, they might even make the playoffs this year if they can sort out their weakest position.' 'Nobody wants to be left back!'"

"Why didn't Hitler ever order a french dip? Because he hates au jus."