209292

Joke of the Day

"Divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter, and what do you get? Pumpkin pi."

"Cat: Lame. Just lame. Me: Shut up. Not everyone goes out Friday nights u know. Cat: Leave extra food out. Im bringing a girl home. Me: ...ok"

"I've lost 10 pounds! Well, I subtracted five for PMS. That Q-Tip I was holding must be at least a pound. Plus my hair was wet. Go, me!"

"I was involved in quite a violent mugging the other day. On the plus side I made a few bucks."

"They should do a scene in a comedy movie where someone rides their bike into a parked car."

"Black and Mexican jokes are the same Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal."

"Ive always hated math because, in my head, all the word problems sounded like this: The spaghetti envelopes are triangular. Find X."

"Why does Beyonce say ""to the left, to the left""? Because black people have no rights."

"hey girl , you french? coz ***madamn***"

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."