87838

Joke of the Day

"Go to an open house and ask the realtor if they'll stand in the basement with the door closed so you can hear if screams are audible outside"

"What did the judge order in his whiskey? Just ice"

"Gay men make sure you're using protection You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too."

"What is the most well-known joke of Heni Patel, the famous comedian from the sub-continent? ""Take my wife ... if you would be so kind!"""

"Why can't women drive? Because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom."

"*gets down on one knee* Wow, you really suck. Why can't you be more like the other knee?"

"Recent studies link bacon to cancer. ""Ya, don't eat bacon, you'll get so much cancer"", said one pink scientist."

"Hardcore I've just changed my first nappy. My wife doesn't like me wearing them but since I bought Call of Duty it means I get more game time."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't fuck a sandwich before I eat it"

"17: If I was gay would you still love me? Me: Of course. 17: If I committed crimes? Me: Yes. 17: If I voted for Trump- Me: Dead to me."