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Joke of the Day

"My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack."

Next Joke
 
"What is atheism? A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word ""religion"" with ""set of beliefs"" if you're picky about that sort of thing"
"A cop stopped a man smoking cannabis while driving The officer asked ""how high are you?"" The man replied ""no officer, its hi how are you"""
"Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they."
"What does a rich fat Englishman gain? Lots of Pounds."
"How do we know burgers love young people? They're pro-teen!"
"Divorce lawyers all over the world are rubbing their hands together in glee now that Twitter DM has a picture function."
"Cat lovers Their pets also qualify for the obnoxious neighbor award."
"How many questions did the politician answer? 9/11"
"After I beat my dad in Go Fish, I like to shit in my underwear to celebrate. -My son, apparently"