201484

Joke of the Day

"Gay men make sure you're using protection You know: body armor, pepper spray, concealed carry-hand gun, first-aid kit, maybe a flare gun too."

"I was just asked to give my credit card details. I said, ""It's rectangular, blue and not very valuable."""

"Assorted nuts... ...was the name of the insane asylum."

"iPhone 8 Screen [REMOVED]"

"There's both a McDonald's and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life."

"Sometimes you'll hate a person when you first meet because it saves time."

"Well, it's that time of year again when people come up to me with their scary face and frightening clothes with their hand held out wanting money and shit. I hate my job at the welfare office."

"The prequel to 16 & Pregnant could be called ""15 & Fully Trusted By Her Parents to Make Good Decisions, We Love You Brittani."""

"What did one orange say to the other orange? Do you speak Mandarin?"

"A friend of mine sold an old rifle he inherited from his German grandfather. The ad says: ""French-made rifle. From WW2. Never used. Only dropped once."""