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Joke of the Day

"Recent studies link bacon to cancer. ""Ya, don't eat bacon, you'll get so much cancer"", said one pink scientist."

"i've been doing home repairs. since i started using black caulk, i haven't gone back."

"Paul has a kid It's appalling"

"I hate it when gross couples tell you they're trying for a baby and you have to picture them fucking for a second."

"[Cops have a warrant for my arrest] Cops: you're coming with us! *Plays the Benny Hill theme on my phone & runs away* Foot chase ensues."

"What the Ambani brothers said to each other I cannot reliance on the other"

"A jew girl's doctor tricked her into having sex with him. Hesadic was good for her."

"My therapist told me that I'm bad at admitting my flaws. I am not!"

"I asked my girlfriend to get me a newspaper... She said, ""Nobody uses newspapers anymore use my iPad"" and she was right, that spider died in one swing!"

"How will you know your sister has period? When you taste blood in your father's dick"