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Joke of the Day

"17: If I was gay would you still love me? Me: Of course. 17: If I committed crimes? Me: Yes. 17: If I voted for Trump- Me: Dead to me."

"What do you get when you combine north beach and south beach? Sum of beaches."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Irish."

"If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child what would he be called? A subordinate claus."

"Whenever I get a stack of job applications, I throw half of them in the garbage I don't want unlucky people working for me"

"What do you tell your bird when it doesn't want to urinate? Pee cock!"

"yo mamma so ugly she tried to enter an ugly contest and the judges said sorry no professionals"

"What's the last thing that goes through a bug's head as it hits the windshield? It's butt!"

"What do toilet paper and the star ship enterprise have in common They both circle Uranus and battle klingons"

"I got fired from the orange juice factory. I couldn't concentrate."