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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you're driving on? steer clear"

"Bill Cosby runs into a bar one day. He saves it for later."

"What do you call a cheap vasectomy? A rip off."

"Cop: Know why I stopped you? Me: Cuz you SMELLED THIS DONUT? *tosses donut out window* Cop: ... Me: Aren't you gonna go get- Cop: Get out."

"Why do pirates love Playboy Magazine? You'd think it's for the booty, but they really read it for the arrrticles."

"What happens when a nun becomes pregnant? They fire a Canon."

"What's the difference between a good Samaritan and a Jew? A good Samaritan means well, whereas a Jew is just well, mean."

"My girlfriend finished all my french fries... I couldn't KETCHUP."

"Get an attack dog, name it Anxiety, laugh and laugh and laugh at Anxiety attacks."

"I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree"