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Joke of the Day

"Why do pirates love Playboy Magazine? You'd think it's for the booty, but they really read it for the arrrticles."

"Me and my twin brother are always finishing each others sentences. The prison wardens are none the wiser."

"OVERHEARD - Woman 1: ""We went downtown to visit 9/11..."" Woman 2: ""You mean the World Trade Center?"" Woman 1: ""No that's not there anymore."""

"I personally think that Halloween should be moved To November 8 (it'll be more scary)"

"What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!"

"Are you surprised at life in general or is that just the way you plucked your eyebrows?"

"Every day at my 4 PM computer science class that the teacher is late to... ""4:04 teacher not found"""

"Wife: I'm going to grab some dinner, you want anything? Me: No thanks, I'm stuffed. Wife: Ok, I'm going to Taco... Me: I'll have 9 tacos."

"Did you hear about the two ducks who got in a fight? Fowl play was suspected."

"[remodel] Me: can you please keep that awful noise down? Contractor: for the last time, sir, we don't control who's running for president."