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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cheap vasectomy? A rip off."

"I'm not getting the earth anything for Earth Day since it's not going to be around much longer anyway."

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park, man!"

"A magician was walking down the street .... and he turned into a grocery store"

"Why'd they call the egg a pimp? Because he got ova easy."

"I walked in on my brother masturbating earlier. He completely froze. After what seemed like an eternity he managed the words ""Why the fuck are you masturbating?!"""

"The Night Life North Korea has just announced their own time zone ...Meaning the world now has the first official Party time."

"- What's your cell phone? - iPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that."

"Don't you hate it when you think you're about to fart and you shit on your Dad's face?"

"It's not rape if she's holding bud light"