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Joke of the Day

"Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun but at least you get to push them around."

"Flew out of top hat. Flew out of limousine. Flew out of church. -Dove Resume"

"What food do vampires hate? Steaks."

"My wife said to me: ""If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"" I said: ""Of course I would. I'd miss you, but I'd still love you."""

"What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie Total recall"

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back."

"Why did the alcoholic chop off the little boy's legs? He wanted his *Kidneys*."

"How come does Luke Skywalker does not have a girlfriend? He was looking for love in Alderaan places"

"*6 opens piggy bank* Me: wtf where'd you get all that? 6: mommy said I could take $1 out of your wallet each day bc you'd never know"

"My girlfriend took me bra shopping It was an uplifting experience"