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Joke of the Day
"What food do vampires hate? Steaks."
Next Joke
"What did the statue say to the other statue? Hey, S-tat-ue?"
"Dad: Your grandpa used to cut the grass before he died, but now he's- Son: Dad please don't... Dad: Lawn gone."
"If the Narwhal Bacons at Midnight... Does the Unicorn Potato at Noon?"
"How do farmers party? They *turnip* the *beets*. :/"
"Supermom! Me: MOM CAN YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH??? *doesnt hear* *whispers to myself* ""deaf bitch"" Mom: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?"
"My mule is pretty lazy... ... Always doing half-assed work."
"I wasn't allowed to bring my board game onto the airplane They told me the risk was too big."
"Just once, I want someone to kick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter."
"NEW! ""How to Act"" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!"