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Joke of the Day

"Flew out of top hat. Flew out of limousine. Flew out of church. -Dove Resume"

"Being killed by a paper-cut would be... Quite a novel way to die."

"Thank God I don't have to pay my computer's solitaire debts."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I will tell you later. SOURCE: Heard it on the subway"

"BREAKING NEWS: Sad story, Justin Bieber's body has been found ALIVE in his NYC apartment. A moment of silence please for The Music Industry."

"Who did the dyslexic man sell his soul to? Santa. /cringe"

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, whose dick was so long he could suck it, he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, "" if my ear was a cunt, I would fuck it!"""

"woman on a date drops curry on her lap.... ""Oh no! Madras!"""

"Hockey is a sport where people use feet knives to walk so they can score a goal with a tiny hamburger."

"We should head on over to that schizophrenic party. It sounds like a lot of people are there."