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Joke of the Day

"If any of my jokes or status have offended you, I am truly sorry......... that you're such a pu$$y......."

"You know why when you look up and see birds flying in a V pattern, one side seems longer than the other? More birds on that side."

"After incorrectly spelling my symptoms at least 100 times, WebMD kicked back ""Listen idiot, you're drunk. Just go lay down"""

"Men that know the difference between moist and wet, know the difference between failure and success"

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"The punchline might tie in perfectly with the joke... or it might knot."

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a four-year old child? Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!"

"I asked this girl in my class for a rubber... forgot that in the U.S. they call it an eraser"

"Why do baby clothes have pockets? I've never heard a baby say: ""cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"""

"A dog named joke starts playing with his owners. One of the kids throws a ball across the street, the dog goes for it..... A car runs him over, the joke is over."