86463

Joke of the Day

"So I just moved to a new area... And as usual I had to tell everyone that I am a registered sex offender. Just kidding, nobody's found out yet."

"What did the duck say when he bought lipstick? ""Put it on my bill."""

"The non-Spanish version of Ambien is called Amgood."

"My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much.."

"Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached. You could say it was unpresidented."

"What is the most inappropriate thing to say to someone who just lost their job? You had one job."

"Do you know about Bassist heaven? I've never heard of it"

"Hey guurl. ""Hey there."" Feeling lonely tonight? ""I have a boyfriend."" Why are you talking to me then? ""You haven't taken my order yet."""

"What do you call an expensive circumcision? A rip off"

"Why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too"