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Joke of the Day

"My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much.."

"/r/News mods did a great job today ... Get it?"

"Funny school joke Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't make cheap leather out of Ferraris."

"Fun trick to play on your partner: ""Don't you remember what day this is?"""

"Keanu Reeves, sure, but then Keanu comes back a rittle bit rater."

"Married Couple Friend:hey how's your married life buddy..... Jhon: 20 years before it was like heaven ....... 20 years after no fucks given"

"Today I learned that 48% of women in the U.S. are battered... and to think I've been eating mine plain for all these years."

"I told the doctor I want to take my amputated leg home and he asked why ""Because it's my right"""

"What kind of ideas do blind people get? Brailleant ones. Sauce: Am blind."