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Joke of the Day
"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna ride bikes?!?"
Next Joke
"[1st date] Me: I've got crabs [date leaves] [back home looking at my fish tank] ""It's all right guys, one day I'll find one who'll like you"""
"So an Irishman walks out of a bar ... no seriously, it can happen. (seen in an Irish pub)"
"What do you call a depressed gang member? An emoji... Emo g, get it? From my 13 year old son"
"So I just found out my grandpa was in the Holocaust. He worked up in one of the guard towers"
"If ""you are what you eat"" Why is cannibalism considered to be inhuman?"
"To the guy who named cotton candy: Yes! It looks just like it sounds. To the guy who named Milk Duds: What the hell is wrong with you?"
"My wife always says I am bullying on of our children I don't know which one she means... John, Maria or the fat ugly one?"
"Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like."
"Jokes about being drunk on Twitter are redundant. Maintaining a Twitter account automatically implies that you're drinking on some level."