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Joke of the Day

"So an Irishman walks out of a bar ... no seriously, it can happen. (seen in an Irish pub)"

"Why did so many blacks die in Vietnam? Every time somebody yelled, ""GET DOWN!"" they'd get up and dance."

"Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing? because he doesn't want to be spotted"

"I have a crippling fear of Santa Apparently I'm Claustrophobic."

"When it comes to friends...I'd rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies."

"I hate how funerals are always at like 9 or 10am I'm not a mourning person."

"Not to brag, but I just bought Eggland's best eggs from the grocery store. Their BEST eggs. I got them."

"I've never jumped onto a departing ferry or had a woman adjust my tie from behind me, you movie liars."

"why did the wife of the fish and chips fetishist file for divorce? she was sick of being a battered woman"

"Spike from the Land Before Time movies is the best character ever! Literally in the first 30 seconds after hatching he yawns, eats an entire bush, and takes a nap, he's like me on valentines day."