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Joke of the Day
"Women, don't tell us about your boyfriend. He's a guy. We know what he's like."
Next Joke
 
"What do you call ten rabbits walking backwards? A receding HARE line!"
"What did the dog say when he sat on sand paper? Ruff"
"An egg with 28 followers says I'm not funny. So if you need me, I'll just be in the kitchen making an omelette."
"How many deadbeat dads does it take to change a lightbulb? I wouldn't know, mine's never around. (Alternately: ""Well, he went out to get one..."")"
"sorry for my absence, i've been hiding inside my head"
"Why does Hitler has a red phone? To make Phone calls..."
"Went in for a tonsillectomy. Surgeon did a frontal lobectomy instead. I complained... ... really gave 'em a piece of my mind!"
"What's the most difficult instrument for a percussionist to play? a conundrum"
"I liked Kim Jong-un better when he sang Gangnam Style."