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Joke of the Day

"A sandwich walks in to a bar... ...and the barman says, ""sorry, we don't serve food here"""

"My deaf girlfriend just told me to fuck off. That's not a good sign."

"I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago... ...and so far, all it's been doing is gathering dust."

"Husband: How about a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?"

"How do you call the current situation in Syria? Very syrias"

"What's the difference between a Greyhound bus station and a lobster with tits? One's a crusty bus station; the other is a busty crustacean."

"Why was the Jolly Green Giant wrongly accused of being a pedophile? He'd been letting the kids use his dick for a bungee cord."

"'Brexit' to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium."

"POP RACIST MATH PROBLEM QUIZ! Jamal has $600 rims on his car. He's traveling at 45 mph. How many children does Jamal have? show your work."

"I went to specsavers the other day.. ...guess who I bumped into? Everyone!"