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Joke of the Day

"Dinner party tip: Gluten allergies can easily be treated by not telling people they are consuming gluten."

"9: Why are you hitting that spider? wife: I don't like spiders me: Ooooh *grabs newspaper* mother-in-law [leaving] I don't have to take this"

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection. ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"In grammar school, most unplanned pregnancies happen early on ...before anyone knows how to use the colon."

"Which part of a billiards setup can you use to clean your ears? The cue tip."

"Last time I saw my boyfriend he was getting on a plane to Helsinki. You might say he vanished into Finnair."

"Job interview -It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. Whats 19x17? -36 -Thats not even close!! -But it was quick."

"I invented a new word... Plagiarism."

"Bad porn is like bad spaghetti It's overdone, the noodles are soft, and it's *waaaaaaay* to saucy for my tastes."

"A Priest, a Homosexual, and a Pedophile walk into a bar... And he orders a beer."