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Joke of the Day

"My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues."

"What do you call a fake noodle? An ImPASTA!"

"What did one casket say to the other? Is that you coffin?"

"Girl, are you an unicorn? Because I wish you were real... ...Damn I am lonely"

"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."

"Total Eclipse Today I tried using a colander to view the eclipse. I think I've strained my eyes."

"Confucius say virginity like giant bubble One prick, all gone"

"If you are single don't worry. Someone will come around shortly to totally fcuk that up."

"5-year-old: Dad! Dad! My sister- Me: Stop tattling. I don't want to hear about it unless there's blood. 5: Me: 5: How much blood?"

"I'm saving up my money for a sex change operation... ...and I don't care how much my wife protests it. I wanted a boy, dammit."