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Joke of the Day

"Before records were invented, people used to say: u sound like an opera singer that keeps repeating himself"

"Three logicians go to a bar The waiter asks if they would all like a drink The first responds ""I don't know"" The second responds ""I don't know"" And the third responds ""Yes, why thank you"""

"If a man speaks his mind in a forest. And no woman hears him, is he still wrong?"

"I made a movie about freezing time I showed it to some people, but they thought it was just a picture. It's 3 hours and 27 minutes long...if you don't pause"

"My ex boyfriend was into two types of women: 1) Me 2) My Best Friend"

"What do you tell someone who constantly uses the word ""of"" instead of ""have""? Fuck of"

"Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems."

"Why would anyone want to shoot themselves or others when we live in a world where weed, titties, Game of Thrones and free music exists?"

"Sometimes I'll water my plants with boiling water because why should they have it so good?"

"Why did the hen fall in the well? she couldn't see that well"