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Joke of the Day

"Ya know who's probably more bummed out than any of us? Bums."

"Who was the dankest dictator of all time? LMao Zedong"

"I feel that it's time to pick the kids up from school..so I'm going to lie down here for a while and wait for that feeling to pass"

"""Dad, what do you think about abortion?"" --Ask your sister --But I don't have a sis..."

"children in the back seat cause accidents accidents in the back seat cause children"

"My drug dealer gave me new shoes today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"[WP] You are an assassin in WWII trying to find a German defector on a U-boat. Unfortunately you got a little lost on the dock... Whoops, wrong sub."

"Whats the difference between a nun and a whore in a bathtub? One has a soul full of hope..."

"Tried new pain medication, and an hour later 3 penguins in military fatigues walked into the room and told me I need to kill Mussolini's cat"

"What is an Italian redditors favorite meal? Fettuccini Alfedora."